Boy, do I ever love The Onion:
"Our schools are orderly, sanitary places where students dwell in blissful ignorance of the chaos that awaits," West said. "Should our facilities be repaired? No, they must be razed to the ground and rebuilt in the image of the Cyclopean dwellings of the Elder Gods, the very geometry of which will drive them to be possessed by visions of the realms beyond."
The whole article is hysterical.
By the way, I absolutely love the caption to a Cthulhu drawing: "Artist's rendering of the Cthulhu, a hideous demon borne of pure malice that fewer than 3 percent of high school sophomores can identify."
Friday quiz: The board member's name (Charles West) is a combination of the names of two Lovecraft characters. Without googling, which ones?